Editing InvocationOfAutumn
Ok, so below is the poem as it originally appeared, plus proposed changes that i'm thinking about after a dialog with Curtis about the poem. If people would be so kind as to give me their opinions about the changes, plus any other critical comments about the poem itself, i'd be grateful. Comments can be made directly on this page, or in an email to me (naj at uchicago.edu). If you comment on this page, please do so below the poem itself, and use stanza/line number in stanza (1-4) to refer to specifics. I am the leaf limp on the branch Scarlet turning slowly to orange brown Then plunging gracefully through the frosty air To the ground *line 3: strike gracefully *line 4: insert distant after the I am the dying grass Green in my morning, brown in my evening Immune to the ravages of passing feet But not to my caress *line 1: replace dying with fading *line 3-4: Is the ownership of passing feet clear? (not narrator) I am the skeletal trees Fingers reaching into space in greeting And limbs poised to accept a dance From the chill wind *line 2: reword - Fingers thrust skyward in greeting I am the grain that falls and the apple overripe Left in the field long after all others are taken I know that there is always rebirth And always after, death *line 2: reword - Abandoned to rot after the harvest *line 3-4: Q: Is the juxtapositioning of rebirth and death jarring, or is it a sensical assertion in the context of the poem? I am the voice that moans Howling about your eaves while you think warm thoughts Safely battened down in your fortress of wood and brick Promises of darkness and cold *line 2: strike 'think warm thoughts' and replace with tremble *line 3: strike safely I am the shadow of death Harbinger of torpor and stasis; I await only the gravemaker And the trees with their shivering hands reach to him in supplication To bury all the world I am the frosted claw that grips hearts and kills joy I am the child scribbling on the slate before it is wiped clean I am the sorrow beyond remembrance and the destiny beyond foretelling I am the beginning of unbecoming *line 2: strike 'child...clean' and replace with 'ancient man, eyes fixed beyond this world' -----
Summary:
This change is a minor edit.
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Editing InvocationOfAutumn