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History of GroupStorySeven|
** Impersonates people |
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** hobby: turning people who annoy him into things |
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The town of Wasteling, Fornication was very hot. The weather was hot, the women were hot, even the camels were hot, in their own sort of way (that way being, of course, that they spit venom vile enough to make a man blind, or deaf, or dead). Zortiq had acquired a camel and was standing outside the treasury while the little man fumbled with the keys. |
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The town of Wasteling, Fornication was very hot. The weather was hot, the food was hot, even the camels were hot, in their own sort of way (that way being, of course, that they spit venom vile enough to make a man blind, or deaf, or dead). The only thing that wasn't hot was the women (I'd explain, but... oh, nevermind. You'll see soon enough). Zortiq had acquired a camel and was standing outside the treasury while the little man fumbled with the keys. |
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The treasury door swung open. Zortiq left the little man standing outside staring dumbly at the lock in his hand, and entered the gloomy room. |
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The treasury door swung open. The little man was left standing outside staring dumbly at the lock in his hand as Zortiq entered the gloomy room. He'd just about figured out that the key had actually tumbled the lock successfully when Zortiq's face started hollering in his ear. "Where. Are. My. Gold. Herpes!" "Uhhh..." The man scratched his crotch and crossed his eyes. "Worthless." Zortiq transmuted the man into Ice Ice Baby, on repeat, and stalked off. He was going to either get gold, or pie, or someone was going to die. He was just about to the mayor's office to see the Deputy mayor, the mayor having died of a frontal lobotomy gone wrong when it was discovered the operating doctor was actually the zombie badger... in disguise! That badger was definitely a problem. In fact, last week he had impersonated a fireman so he could rescue Frisky, the cat, which resulted in the cat being mauled after it got, well, frisky. And then there was the incident with the mailman the day before. Lets just say that neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor hail might stop 'em, but a zombie badger worked just fine. The list of incidents involving that pesky zombie badger was so long that the sun had set by the time Zortiq was just about to the mayor's office. Suddenly a sultry voice called to him from the shadows. "Hey sailor." "I am not a sailor." "How about you and me spend some quality time." "There isn't water for 5 days in any direction. Where have you ever seen a sailor?" "It's just something they say." "No it's not. I talked to They recently." She batted her eyelashes. "Nothing like a cold girl on a warm night." She flashed her fangs. "You can have me all night." Zortiq thought a moment. He liked chilled pie. "Ok," he said, and suddenly she turned into a delicious chilled pumpkin pie. His fondest wish finally granted, he sat down to enjoy a cold pumpkin pie. He was going to enjoy <strike>having</strike> eating her all night. Until he realized he had no fork. |