BestShmackEver

See also MoreBestSchmackEver

 Date: Sun, 1 Oct 2000 03:03:19 -0700 (PDT)
 From: AriNieh <anieh@orion.ac.hmc.edu>
 To: Genetically Engineered Hunter/Killer? Monkeys <east-dorm-chat-l@hmc.edu>
 Subject: with apologies to Chris Rock

 Ladies and Gentlemen of the H.M.C. Class of 2004,
 I have one piece of advice for you,
 No matter what an upperclassman tells you,
 There is no sense on East Dorm Schmack!
 NONE!

 Oh, there's arguments on East Dorm Schmack.
 But you don't want arguments.
 You want sense,
 And there's no sense on East Dorm Schmack.

 Don't go to AC on a Friday night.
 Sure it feels responsible inside,
 But what about all those people waitin' outside with duct tape daggers,
 They know you ain't got one!

 If a woman tells Ozzie she's 20,
 And looks 16, she's 12.
 If she tells him she's 14,
 And looks 14, she's damn near 8!

 Take off that silly ass .sig.

 The EDSP couldn't have possibly committed all those pranks.
 Momar did some of that shit.

 Young CS majors- if you post to Shmack,
 And someone double-messages you,
 Let it slide!
 Why spend the next 20 minutes reading flames
 Cause someone didn't delete you from the CC?

 Proctor candy.  Ain't nothin wrong with that!

 No matter what you think of what I'm saying,
 Remember this one thing:
 There is no sense on East Dorm Schmack.

 Uhh
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 Absolutely positively no sense on East Dorm Schmack

 If a senior has a funny whiteboard,
 He hasn't been a senior for that long.
 A real senior is too cranky to be funny.

 If a frosh has Friday chem lab,
 It'll probably suck.
 If a frosh has Friday physics lab,
 It'll probably suck.

 Here's a horoscope for everyone:
 E&M - You're gonna take it.
 DE's -  You're gonna take it.
 STEMS - You're gonna take it twice.
 Bio 52 - You're gonna take it.
 Frosh Chem -  You're gonna take it sleeping.

 No one goes to Platt for tacos.

 If you have been taking a class for two months
 And you haven't been to recitation,
 You are not going to high pass!

 Some of the things I've said may not apply to you,
 Some of the things I have said may offend you.

 But no matter who you are,
 You must remember this one thing:
 No matter what an upperclassman tells you,
 There is no sense on East Dorm Schmack!

 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 Said no sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No no sense on East Dorm Schmack
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 Can't get none
 Can't have none, naa
 On East Dorm Schmack
 Said there's absolutely positively
 No sense on East Dorm Schmack
 Say, no no ooow, said no ooow,
 There ain't no sense
 On East Dorm Chat na na say na na
 Can't Get None