FunWiki: FessNelson

Once upon a time there was a frosh. That frosh had a toe. Several toes, actually, but one in particular was stubbed very hard while the little frosh was dancing to Sting's "Desert Rose" in Linde Dorm courtyard. The toe was stubbed so hard, in fact, that the entire toenail, pretty irridescent polish and all, flew into oblivion. This little frosh was then taken to the hospital by KendraNelson (no relation). At the hospital the little frosh bled all over the place and checked herself in for "spontaneous toenail removal." However, the clerk at the hospital was dyslexic or something and used his left index finger instead of his right. Thus, the name on the identification bracelet was

Fessica Nelson

and so FessNelson got her name. At the end of first semester, junior year, however, FessNelson reverted back to "Jessica Nelson." She explained that it was because the name "Fess" was so strange that it eclipsed even her own peculiar personality.

FessNelson had the following roommates

110: VictoriaDavis 115: BrieFinger? (& GeoffRomer) 1??: JessFischer? 178: Herself (Suitemate: Eric Angell)

FessNelson graduated Mudd in 2004 with a Mathematics Degree. If she could do it, so can you!

Fall 2004 - Spring 2005: FessNelson went to Hungary for graduate school. The main reason was that it was the only place that offered her a fellowship. She found out that this was a bad idea (culture shock, homesickness, evil department head, only girl in the program) and failed out at the first opportunity.

Summer/Fall? 2005 - Summer 2006 - FessNelson chilled out in Chelmsford, Massachusetts.

2006-current - FessNelson is a graduate student at the University of South Carolina in Columbia, SC. Dissertation defense should take place on November 3, 2011.

Second semester sophomore year, FessNelson got a little sick in the head and thought she was a PhysicsMajor. She even became ProfessorEckert's LabAss at that. But, ah, we won't talk about that, now, will we?

For a while FessNelson also cultivated a massive collection of porn (in particular, she has a taste for highly fetishistic soft porn) and offered it for viewing in a box outside her dorm room as PornMonger (as MarkEphair says). For a little while she even took a more hands on approach to her love of pin-up and posed for EvilSouthie and his digital camera.

FessNelson also has a math tattoo which was explained in an article of Math Horizons, editted by ProfBenjamin?.

Is FessNelson single?

It depends on your definition of "single." Facebook Jessica L. Nelson for more information.

Fess's Linear Homework for 6 DEC 2000:

Last night I was a CS5 codemonkey. My linear homework just sat there completely blank while I tweaked my code for hours. At the end of the night I said, "Fess, I want you to do your linear." But instead I slept and said, "Hello, my name is Fess. I hate CS5. Can I have this homework dropped? Eeek. Eeek." I got some sleep. When I told my roommate she said, "I told you you'd use that free homework drop sometime!" The end.

FessNelson passed CS5. FessNelson HighPassed? Linear I.

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