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=============================================================================
To Mudd I came seeking knowledge
But they’re making me work til I’m dead.
The Writ 1 kids have it so easy
No numbers or terms in their heads.
The students of Mudd are not sleeping
But think how much rest we could get
If we could create a Physics AE
That cared for poor frosh like me:
I am the one who arranges the terms
That descend upon us from Special Rel.
I move them around to cancel them out,
But the lines of math won’t disappear.
Sometimes it seems that to move terms is fine
And the terms will be cancelled in the end.
Then I see that I have misjudged!
I should not have squared it after all.
Can I have a minus please?
So that I can cancel these c’s.
I am the one who arranges the terms
That continue to come from Special Rel.
Let’s get it right! Let the students unite!
A collective regime of space and time.
I work so hard in arranging the terms
But the graders just won’t accept my lies.
But the students will rise! We will not compromise
For we know that the rhino will not die.
Long live squirrels, rhinos too.
We salute thee, gamma and nu!
I am the one who arranges the terms
That continue to come from Special Rel.
The invariant’s the same (independent of frame)
A collective regime of space and time.
I have no choice in arranging the terms
Under Einstein’s new rules, what he says goes.
The rule of the game is that c is the same
And my terms must transform by his three rules.
Long live Vatche! He loves you!
Sing these words, or you know what he’ll do... (drink your blood!)
I am the one who arranges the terms
That are written by T. M. Helliwell.
They come twice a week and they don’t skip a beat
While we’re working to ace the next exam.
I am the one who arranges the terms
That will make all the gammas go away.
The gammas are gone and the problem is done
And Robespierre won’t die today!
We shall Tex; forever more!
We shall start a laser war!
I am the one who arranges the terms
While I’m solving this complicated math.
Hip hip hurrah for the gamma factor!
We are sending the rhinos out to space.
I work so hard synchronizing the clocks
But photons are one thing we can’t race.
What’s the point of it all, when the clock starts to lag
And there’s no universal reference frame.
Pointless work for pointless grades
We will never be the same.
I am the one who arranges the terms!
But tomorrow I think I’ll stay in bed.
The problems are long, I’m getting them wrong
I wish that I was in Writ instead.
Maybe we’d be better off
If we went to ask the prof.
I am the one who arranges the terms!
That continue to come from Special Rel.
The sun just blew up! All the photons erupt!
Tell me, when will they reach the moving ship?
The ship goes away, but it still sees the ray
Tell me, when in our frame did the sun explode?
Sun explode, sun explode!!
And now the class is done, the final’s won.
There’s students cheering on the lawn.
When in Writ 1, do not despair
There’s students in Spec Rel somewhere.
Our intuition sucks much less
But physics has become a mess.
And now that Peter’s lecturing,
Who’ll write on the wall?
So we reject Sir Newton’s laws
And now Lorentz will fix the flaws.
Your paradigm will be replaced
For we’re connecting time and space.
We shall rejoice and pass this class,
We shall reveal the truth at last.
We shall arrange the terms and Tex;
Forever and a day.
PassFail Frosh!!!
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