ThePyrosWhoDontDoAnything

A VeggieTales?-inspired FilkSong by TheBrubeck and EricBrown:

 We are the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything
 We just stay home and work on stems
 And if you ask us if we did anything
 We'll just tell you... we didn't do anything.

 Well, I've never burned Shamik up
 And I've never made some napalm
 And I've never been in Parsons with the big not-so-red ball
 And I've never melted pennies
 And I've never run from Camp. Sec.
 And I've never been on any roofs at all.

 'Cause we're the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything
 We just stay home and work on stems
 And if you ask us if we did anything
 We'll just tell you... we didn't do anything!

 And I've never climbed in Olin
 And I've never climbed in Jacobs
 And I've never been rappeling down the Galileo Wall
 And I've never purchased dry ice
 And I've never owned a blowtorch
 And I've never been on any roofs at all.

 Yes, we're the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything
 We just stay home and work on stems
 And if you ask us if we did anything
 We'll just tell you... we didn't do anything!

 Oh, I've never made pinatas
 And I've never toasted Settlers
 And I've never fallen through the ceiling of the lecture hall
 And I've never smashed computers
 And I never slept in Honnold
 And I've never been on any roofs at all.

 And we've never caught a kobold
 And we've never worshipped Momar
 And we hope to see Shamik and Lucas back here in the fall
 And I've never frozen textbooks
 And I've never summoned lightning
 ...and we've never been on ANY ROOFS AT ALL!!

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Glossary:

• napalm: see NapalmIncident
• Camp. Sec: see CampSec
• pinata: see KoiPinata
• Settlers: see SettlersOfCatan
• kobold: see KoboldCreature
• Momar: see MoMar
• Shamik and Lucas back here...: see NapalmIncident
• summoned lightning: see SteveRayhawk